


Return and Rise of Solo

by SamWags



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fix-It, Jedi Ben Solo, POV Ben Solo, POV Rey (Star Wars), Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey Skywalker, Slow Burn, Virgin Ben Solo, Virgin Rey (Star Wars)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:34:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24635416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamWags/pseuds/SamWags
Summary: She smiled broadly despite the pain that wracked her weary body. There was no time for misery when she felt such overwhelming joy.What greeted her shining face was... nothing.The stone on which she left him was empty. No body, no clothing, nothing.Before fear was able to grip her heart, she heard the whir of engines and looked up in time to see the old TIE fighter lifting higher and higher until it disappeared into the burning sky.And just as quickly as he had arrived, Ben Solo was gone.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 5
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter One 

Finding Ben 

Ben Solo arrived. He had the strength to do what he needed to do. He saved the girl. He saved the galaxy. 

From evil.

From the dark side.

From himself. 

In that moment, the girl looked at him like he was someone else. Someone long lost. Someone who was found for the moment but could never stay. Not after what he had become. Not after what he had done. 

His smile faded. He pushed her out of his mind, an insurmountable wall was erected between him and her, between him and everyone. 

His eyes grew dim, his gaze moved past the beautiful girl who embraced him, kissed him. Darkness flooded his vision. His breath hitched in his burning lungs and everything went black. 

***

Rey cradled Ben’s head as his body suddenly went limp. The force fractured around her and she could no longer feel him. She lay him on the cold stone beneath them. With trembling hands she let go, hovering above him, afraid to move. A moment lasted a lifetime. Finally, his chest rose and fell. She sighed, her heart swelled.   
“Ben.” His name lingered on her tongue, still so new to call him by his true name and know that it was real. This was not Kylo Ren before her begrudgingly allowing her to speak a name long dead. This was Ben Solo. She had called him and he had come. Finally someone had listened. 

And he was still alive. 

And she was still alive. 

Rey touched a palm to his cheek, a light caress meant as a promise. She couldn’t carry him. He was far too big and she was far too injured. “I’ll be right back,” she murmured.

She stood on weakened legs but her resolve allowed for the strength she needed to climb hand over foot to the top of the jagged cliff to where two opposing ships sat waiting for the impossible. The X-wing and the TIE fighter whispered to one another about the past. A past which may have repeated but with the same glorious ending as before that shone brightly across the galaxy. Good prevailed. Balance existed once again. 

Rey smiled again and she climbed aboard the Rebel ship, knowing a call for help would rescue them. Her friends would come. They were alive. They had won. 

She hailed Poe’s frequency. “This is Red Five. General are you there?” Her voice cracked.

“Rey!” Her name traveled clearly across the expanse between them and alighted her soul. “Rey! Maker, are you okay? You did it! This was you. I know this was you!”

“Poe.” She breathed his name as relief washed over her like a great ocean. They had done it. She and Ben. “We need help. Can you locate us now that my ship is on?” 

“Yes. I’m on my way with a medic. Wait. We? Us?”

Rey dropped the comm and with more speed than she thought she was capable of, she stumbled and slipped back down with great effort to reach him. She hoped he was still out so he didn’t think she left him, although she couldn’t wait to tell Ben they were saved. Rescue would be there shortly. She envisioned embracing him on display in front of everyone, proudly narrating his redemption and recalling how he helped her defeat Palpatine and saved her life, again. Ben Solo had returned. Kylo Ren was dead. 

She smiled broadly despite the pain that wracked her weary body. There was no time for misery when she felt such overwhelming joy. 

What greeted her shining face was... nothing. 

The stone on which she left him was empty. 

No body, no clothing, nothing.

Before fear was able to grip her heart, she heard the whir of engines and looked up in time to see the old TIE fighter lifting higher and higher until it disappeared into the burning sky.

And just as quickly as he had arrived, Ben Solo was gone. 

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two   
Finding Ben… Again

18 standard months after the Battle Of Exegal

The early morning sun casted a faint pinkish glow across the blue sky, signifying another perfect day during the summer on Coruscant. The Jedi Temple spires towered high into the colorful heights, their shadows lengthening, spanning nearly across the entire capital. At the center of the temple, surrounded by lush fecund gardens, a class of a dozen elementary school age younglings listened attentively to their teacher.   
Two students clacked wooden sabers together, twisting and turning and parrying. The smaller more delicate figure leapt up and crashed down, forcing her opponent to yield.   
“Very good, Djaka!” Rey lay an open palm on the young girls back, trapping her two long thick lekkus for a moment against her brown jedi apprentice robe. The green and white faced girl smiled up at her teacher, her face beamed.   
“Your concentration is excellent. Really excellent. Did everyone note how her clear mind allowed the Force to flow more freely? Her calm was what helped her react more quickly. A Jedi feels the Force all around and is a vessel for it. A Jedi never bends the Force to his or her will. ”   
The young faces of various species nodded and whispered to one another.   
Rey readied two new students for sparring when she noticed she had a visitor lurking in the garden. A soldier in a green and grey battle dress uniform stepped into the sunlight. “Children say hello to General Finn.”   
“Hello General Finn.” The voices resounded in unison. Her friend nodded tersely, his body tightened and his jaw clenched.   
“Please take a moment to meditate while I speak with him.”  
The class of young padawans dropped silently to the manicured grass around the circle to sit cross legged and grasped their knees with tiny hands and closed their eyes.  
Finn took hold of Rey’s elbow and pulled her into the shadows, shielding them from her students behind a great marble pillar.   
“Is everything okay? Is it Rose?” Rey worried. Finn’s pregnant wife hadn’t been feeling well the week before.  
“She’s fine, don’t worry.” He pressed his lips into a forced smile and Rey worried even more. “It’s someone else, I don’t know how to tell you so I’m just going to.”   
She knew it was about Ben. She never wanted to talk about him but not because she was angry… because she was heart broken. She shook her head nearly imperceptibly, knowing that all her hope at finding Ben had seeped out of her veins long ago. It had disappeared along with the force bond they shared. The connection she used to be able to feel so strongly had faded until it left her cold and abandoned. She should be used to people she loved doing that but how could she?  
The first few months after Exegal she and Chewbacca scoured the galaxy for any trace, any sign, any scrap of information that could lead them to him. Back then she could feel him when she reached out but he began to slip away. She knew he wasn’t dead. She knew the bond still existed and if he died or was injured, she would feel it. No, this was deliberate. He had become more capable in the mysteries of the Force and used that power to disengage from her and eventually shut her out completely.  
“It’s most likely not him. A Resistance Commander thinks he ran into him.” Finn whispered tentatively as if he expected his words would injure his friend. Rey wondered what would hurt more, if it wasn’t him or if it were. “I wouldn’t have bothered you with this but I traced credits from the Organa family to the planet. It was a decent cover up with credits bouncing from bank to bank, but the trail was still there.”   
She shook her head again, this time violently, tears threatened to spill. “No. I don’t believe it.” Rey snapped. “It’s not him. It can’t be.” She turned away and her friend allowed her a moment. She thought about what he would be doing so often it was like a knife in her side. Was he happy? Who was he with? She choked out two of her most common questions she asked the universe and now might just get the answers to. “What did he say he was doing? Where was he?”  
“I know it sounds ridiculous but he said he was on a beach on Dror. Said he was a fisherman. He spoke to him. Asked if he were… Ben Solo and he didn’t deny it. I’ve asked the commander to speak with you. He’s here in the common area.” Finn placed a hand on hers and she recoiled, her body began to tremble.   
Finn dismissed her class and he led her back up inside to the common rooms. Rey robotically followed, her face a million years away.   
A young Resistance Commander stood tall with his hands behind his back. His new tan Alliance uniform pressed and proud. He nodded nervously when they arrived. “Jedi Master Rey, it’s an honor.” He bowed.   
“I’m not a Jedi yet.” Her eyes instantly grew dark and she let her fears flood her mind. “You will give me what you saw.” Rey spit the command with venom, reaching out to grasp at the air between them with her right hand. The young man’s hands flew to his head and he winced.   
“Rey,” Finn took hold of her wrist and attempted to pull it downwards but her arm remained like a steel rod pointed at the young man’s head. The girl who came from nothing shoved her friend away, her vision fixed only on what she wanted. What she needed desperately.  
She saw a beach. The sand was nearly white, the ocean a turquoise blue. Beachgoers laid on colorful towels on the great expanse. A glimmering village rose off to one side, built against a rocky edge. Fishing boats rocked and ebbed on lines attached to short wooden docks that jutted into the crystal water. A man bent over to untie a thick rope to free his boat. He was bare from the waist up, orange shorts hung low on his hips, sandals on his feet. His pale skin freckled and his long black hair curled where it hit his shoulders, several scars dotted his back and side. He turned and although his face was unnaturally blurred and thus obscured, his broad marked chest and thick arms and the way he stood tall were all unmistakable. The Commander’s voice drowned out the sound of the sea. His words were incredulous. “Are...are you Ben Solo?” The fisherman continued to work, tossing the thick rope into the boat. Rey peered around the vision for as much detail as possible, the horizon, the water, the sand, the boat. She noted on the benched seat there were several leather bound books. Ben’s voice broke her focus. “Yes. Yes I am.”   
The commander continued. “You were pardoned. You know that, right? The Resistance now rules the Senate. What are you doing here and not… on Coruscant as a Jedi Master? Or on Naboo as a prince? Or something bigger than this?”   
Ben shrugged and hopped inside his vessel and pushed off with motor turning and humming as the boat reversed and began its familiar journey towards the open expanse of water.   
It all lasted only a few seconds and Rey dropped her hand to her side on her own accord. “It’s him. He was able to preclude his face from his memory with a trick of the force, but it was him. And he had Jedi texts. He must have been the one to steal them all from Ahch-To.” Rey spoke more to herself than anyone else in the room. She was hurried, already planning. “I’ll need to retrieve those texts. They belong here.” She seemed almost wistful, her eyes looking to the sky as if she were already rising above the planet.  
“You may go now, thank you.” Finn nodded to the now dizzied and confused Commander who was eager to bow and leave. He turned and grasped Rey’s wrist tightly. “What was that?”   
“I had to see for myself. I had to go into his mind.” She wasn’t apologetic, no she was matter of fact. “I’m leaving now. And I’ll go alone.” Her voice wasn’t her own. The thought of seeing him again hadn’t sunk in. She focused on the books she desperately craved.   
“Will you tell him about Luke?” Finn knew the answer already.  
“Yes.”  
Rey was already gone. Her eyes on that distant horizon she saw in the man’s mind. The ocean was all she could see as she lightly packed and wordlessly boarded the old ship that had sat docked for over a year. She knew the Falcon would turn over without any issues, she had seen to that by tinkering with her as part of her weekly routine.  
Less than a day’s flight spent trying to remain calm and collected in the familiar cockpit and she arrived on Dror. The coastal city was bustling and colorful and she made her way through, a holo guiding her steps to where she needed to go without a word to any residents. She walked with purpose barely noticing the diverse species and cultures alighting the streets. Making her way down several flights of stone steps to the beach, the bright blue waves lapped at the white sand and the setting sun mirrored her own time zone on Coruscant. The fishing boats were either already moored or returning from the sea with their catches.   
She stepped onto the dock from the Commander’s mind and her eyes found him immediately. It was almost mundane how they both lifted their gaze to face one another.   
They both stilled.   
Time seemed to still.   
Rey forgot to breathe.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three  
Wanting to be Found 

Even though he knew this moment could come to pass after he had been recognized, seeing her again was far more painful than he thought possible. The scar on his face seemed to open up again baring his scorched flesh as if she had only just slashed through him. He wasn’t sure why he allowed the Alliance Commander to remember. The crude cover-up of his identity in the young man’s mind was done in haste and he knew if the man found himself in front of Rey she would see right through and she would know it was him. He still had no idea why he did what he did. Why did he allow himself a glimmer of hope that she would find him and then what? They would fly off in the Falcon and be together?   
Bad idea.  
Villains don’t live happily ever after.   
Rey took a few wary steps to stand closer, her eyes bore into his as she tipped her chin up with indignation. Always attempting to be in such control. He discouraged a smile from gracing his lips and they twitched defiantly. She blinked several times and nibbled the corner of her mouth, she was nervous. What else was she? Angry, no doubt.   
He didn’t watch the news and never called up his past via holos as his datapad remained buried under a few t-shirts in a dresser drawer. He preferred to live simply, day to day with very little media. The only visage he allowed himself of her over the last year and a half was the one that haunted his dreams. Now that she was real, the ache to reach for her was nearly more than he could bear. She was more beautiful than he remembered, and he remembered quite a bit.   
Her hair was longer than before and spilled down past her shoulders with the top part pulled up into one bun on the back of her head and she wore a simple gray tunic, drawn at the waist. Her arms and face were tinted by the sun, freckles dotting her nose.   
“Ben.” Somehow he felt the pain and sadness when she breathed his name.  
Leaving her had been necessary. Staying would have hurt her even more.  
“Rey.” His voice was deep and almost dark and he cleared his throat. The last time he said it, she was dead in his arms and he breathed life back into her body. Her name on his lips was a longing he never afforded himself. Nobody in his new life knew anything about her. Only once at the pub when loneliness drove him to be uncharacteristically drunk did he tell his fellow fishermen why he chose to be alone, he belonged to someone he could never have.   
He didn’t know what to say so he kept quiet, waiting for her to break the awkward silence. He knew she would have enough to say for the both of them.   
“I looked for you.” She started out quietly, her words hushed, injured. “Chewie and I spent almost six months on the Falcon flying all over the galaxy.” She intensified, words growing louder and laced with frustration. And then she shouted. “Why? Why did you leave?”   
Always questioning, speaking her mind, trying to understand him. Ben wanted to smile for the third time since seeing her but the weight of the situation made him think better of it. Now she was angry.   
He had thought about what to say to her a thousand times but nothing ever seemed sufficient. “I could never be what you wanted me to be.” He opted for the simple idea that he was not the hero she deserved.   
“How do you know what I want you to be?” Rey’s hands curled into fists by her side. “You were pardoned. Your sentence commuted for what you did to help the Resistance to win the whole war. And for what you did... for me. You saved all of us, Ben.”  
“I know.” Ben’s response was necessary to keep the interaction as short as possible. Any amount of explanations would never be enough and he knew there were many who would never and should never forgive him, including himself.   
If she thought he would return with her she was mistaken. There was no way. There was far too much to say to ever be able to make her understand.   
She was better off without him and that was the simple truth.  
“I know you have the Jedi texts and they belong with me and my students on Coruscant. I’m not sure if you know but I run the Temple now. We have close to 20 students with ones attending a few on their way.”   
The books, of course. She saw the book in the Commander’s mind. “Yes you’re right. You can have them. And yes I knew you were instructing young Jedi.” He averted his eyes. Her face was too beautiful, it burned his black soul. “Come with me.” Ben kept his responses curt and strode past her, brushing her shoulder with his and he didn’t stop or turn around. He knew she would follow and hoped she would take his lead further and not look for answers to all her questions. Answers that he couldn’t produce even if he tried.   
Ben led her down the dock and across the beach, his sandals sinking in the ivory sand. Each step became harder to pull forward than the last. He had walked back and forth from his house to his boat every day for the past week with the idea in his head that she may find him and she would follow. He kept true to what he told himself he would do, walk with purpose and don’t turn around.  
He realized he had lied to himself, saying that all he needed was to see her one more time. One last time. Even as he closed in on his house where the sand met the forest, the desire to turn and hold her burned so hotly that he nearly dropped the walls in his mind. He almost let her see what he was thinking. It was her. All he could think about was her.   
But he didn’t.   
He couldn’t.   
He wasn’t impulsive and destructive any more. Those traits belonged to a man whose name he thankfully hadn’t heard in a long time. A long time.   
Inside the small house, he went straight for the large trunk that contained the stolen texts. “Can you lift this? It’s heavy?” He spoke without looking at her, holding out the large leather trunk.   
Rey didn’t answer and his eyes were forced to find hers. She stood defiantly, her back rigid and she folded her arms across her chest. “Why? Why did you run away? Why did you run from me?”  
Her question stabbed at him. Ben sighed and placed the books back down on the wooden planks that lined his house. He knew she would always push him and although he wished she would accept the fact that he could never give her what she needed, in some ways if she didn’t he would be disappointed. “These scars are not just on the outside. I have to live with Kylo Ren’s actions and consequences.” He wouldn’t apologize. That would never be enough for her or anyone else. Every muscle in his body coiled, readying itself to speak about a part of it that it now despised. “I am Kylo Ren…” He stood taller, imposing, looming over her, he ground out through gritted teeth. “And he and Ben Solo will always battle within me and on any given day I never know who will be successful. Alone, I can handle that reality. That future.” Ben voice softened at the end, he didn’t want her pity, he just wanted to try and make her see that she would not convince him of anything beyond what he chose to believe about himself.   
Rey bristeled, and despite her rejected expression she remained powerful, self determined. “I’m training to be a Jedi Master. Teaching myself. So I understand the need for inner peace and the lack of… attachments.”   
Ben almost smiled. Her resolve was nearly enough to carry them both.  
***  
Rey lied. She focused on breathing. The urge to run to him, to wrap herself around him was overwhelming. She focused on the Jedi’s creed of no attachments, no desire, no passion, no love.   
Ben stood before her, shirtless, the great expanse of his pale chest on display. His ebony hair was long and every time he pushed it out of his face her fingers itched to touch it. The scar she inflicted was pink against his skin, splitting his face and chest in two. His powerful build took her breath away.  
He was beautiful. She longed to tell him that, to lay her palms on his chest, to place her lips against his as she did once.   
To feel him respond.   
Would he?   
He did once but this man was not the same man that almost died to save her life.   
That man wasn’t thinking beyond that moment.   
That man didn’t think he was going to live to see what would happen next.   
Now the weight of their worlds pressed down upon them. This man before her had a past and a future and he had to live with both. She needed to accept that.   
Ben Solo was still a ghost living in the shadow of Kylo Ren.  
Neither of which was who she needed.   
But someone else might be able help her make Ben whole again. To give him the family he lost while he was hidden beneath a monster.  
They were still standing and awkwardly staring with glassy eyes. She cleared her throat, knowing this may be the last time she ever saw him.   
“Ben I have something to tell you. There’s someone you should meet. He’s a padawan. He came to the Temple about six months ago at seventeen after his mother died. His mother was Jedi Master Ranya Ood. She raised him on an outer rim planet untouched by the First Order or the Resistance. She trained him as best she could. He’s so incredibly strong with the Force.”   
Ben listened, a look of both confusion and curiosity weighed in his eyes.   
Rey continued. “His father and his mother were together for just a few years. His father was separated from his wife when he met Ranya. His father’s wife was a senator and a general and they drifted apart. According to him, his mother told him that happened every few years and she knew he would eventually go back to his wife, but she loved him anyway.”  
Ben bit his lower lip and his eyes widened.   
“When the First Order took hold, his father warned Ranya that if Kylo Ren ever found out about them, he didn’t know what he would do. His father left them to keep them safe, eventually returning to his wife as he always did. He died without revealing their secret.” Rey told the story, watching Ben’s reaction. His brow wrinkled and he swept away from her, his broad back and shoulders meeting her gaze. She continued, knowing she was unveiling a truth he never expected.   
“The resemblance is uncanny. He’s tall, black hair, dark eyes, crooked nose and… big ears. And he’s good. So much Light.”  
“What’s his name?” Ben spoke softly.  
“Luke. Luke Solo.”   
He shook his head and turned back to her, his face impossible to read. “Of course it is.”   
“He found out he was your brother from his mother on her deathbed. It was a shock. He had no idea. She told him why it was kept from him and he understood. He listens and wants to learn. He so wants to be a Jedi Knight. And I’m all he’s got to help him right now.” Rey stepped forward and clasped her hands together, her pride and fondness for whom she spoke of was palpable. “He has so much Light in him. He just wishes to know you and maybe learn from you.”  
Ben’s lips twitched and he took in a sharp breath, his chest heaving. “Learn from Kylo Ren? That’s almost funny.”  
“Do you know what he said when I told him I’d found you?” Rey took a step closer only to have Ben back step away with a look of terror in his eyes.  
He shook his head.  
“He said he was proud to be your brother.”   
Ben blinked. He turned to sit on the edge of his bed and looked down at his feet for a long while. Finally he stood and nodded. “You can wait outside while I pack.”   
Rey sat outside his house in the sand and stared out onto the horizon. She held her knees tight against her chest as tears rolled down her cheeks.   
She found him. And he was coming back with her.   
Her resolve grew.   
She would find a way to help him forgive himself.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four  
Ben and Luke   
The pair crossed the streets of the city and boarded the Falcon wordlessly. Ben carried the heavy wooden box of Jedi texts as well as a small bag slung over his shoulder. He grabbed a few sets of clothes and a small black box that he kept by his bedside. The content was special, he didn’t go anywhere without it.   
And that was that.   
He doubted he would return. The idea of where he would be in the future was far too nebulous and ever changing to try and grasp onto any part of it. And in a way that grounded him. Kylo Ren had always been so singular in what he wanted and solid on where he saw himself that now not knowing was better. He took that back. Kylo Ren had always been sure of everything until he met Rey.   
And so he allowed himself one last look at the shining seaside before the Falcon’s ramp closed. The ocean had done him good. He’d learn to love it. It hadn’t healed his soul, not that he thought anything ever would, however the gaping wounds were at least not bleeding profusely.   
As the familiar ship climbed its way up into the galaxy, his emotions started to run high and he had no idea how to handle them now that he wasn’t able to split the side of a wall open with his crackling plasma blade. He sat at the Dejarik table while Rey piloted, thankfully behind a closed door and tried to stay calm, focusing on his breathing, allowing the Light of the Force to flow through him and trying to clear his head.   
Ben traced the board with a finger. His mind betrayed his wishes, images and voices from the past weaving their way into his consciousness as if he were a child again. His father and Chewie playing the game with him. He loved the Korrvil best, the big armed creature who was the strongest. He could hear his tiny victory roar. It always made him laugh.   
His father’s pride.   
Chewbacca’s affection.   
Regret burned in his throat.   
Rey exited the cockpit more quickly than he expected and she stood before him in her gray wrapped tunic and he wondered if she ever wore anything else. Not that he minded. He just wondered. She placed her hands on her slim hips and her brow raised expectantly. She wanted him to… talk? Of course she did.   
Ben shrugged. “Memories.” He let the word slip and braced himself for a barrage from the girl before him. A tirade of how he succumbed to the Dark side, tried to kill her three times, murdered his father, tortured her friends, killed thousands, the list went on and on and on.  
Instead she smiled. “Fond memories, I’m sure. You must have grown up on this ship.”   
Ben noted how much older she seemed, wiser. He liked it but that thought bothered him. He didn’t want her maturity to offer forgiveness for the atrocities he’d committed. They were acts he felt he needed to do at the time and so redemption wasn’t even necessary. That’s at least what he told himself at night and how he was able to get through each day.   
“I’m tired so I’m going to turn in. The Falcon will wake me when we arrive.” He mumbled and stood and turned to escape her. A soft hand closed around his forearm and stopped him in his tracks. Her fingers warmed his skin at the point of contact and the feeling traveled up his arm and radiated out to his entire body. When he faced her, his eyes grew wide. She was so close to him, peering up, lips parted, freckles dotting her nose and cheeks.  
“Ben, I…”   
He didn’t give her a chance to finish. “Don’t.” He recoiled from her touch, his words stoney. “Rey, just let me go. I’m tired.” He pulled away and stole into the cabin. The door behind him slid shut.   
***  
Rey stood dejectedly for a long while. She had merely wanted to say that she was happy he was returning with her to meet his brother. That’s it. Nothing too deep. He clearly didn’t want to discuss anything with her nor did he want her attention or affection.   
She barely knew Kylo Ren, what made her think she would know Ben Solo?   
She understood that he was a stranger to her and now she had to accept it. She had once looked for him for her but that hope, that future was gone.   
Bringing him to Coruscant would help him and Luke. That was her goal. To bring them together so they could both have a family once again. She was bereft of such an idea forever, but they didn’t have to bear that same burden. Not any more.  
She sat in the co-pilot’s chair and reclined, preferring to sleep there rather than the captain’s cabin. But sleep didn’t come. She stared at the control panel for hours thinking about how Ben was with her, just in the other room, yet he was still millions of miles away. The lights flashed and flickered as the ship hurtled through space. The Falcon was a friend and she imagined Han and Leia sitting where she was, contemplating their own future. Finally, the ship buzzed at her as they approached Coruscant.   
The ramp slowly lowered and standing at the base was Luke. They were very clearly brothers, in fact Rey often thought that Luke looked just like Ben when he were younger. She even called up old holos of Ben and sure enough she had been right.  
Ben walked with purpose towards his brother and came to a stop before him. Luke smiled broadly and reached out a hand. Ben took it readily and they shook solidly.  
“I can’t believe I’m finally meeting you.” Luke spoke reverently, grasping Ben’s elbow with his other hand and tugging him closer.   
Ben nodded and awkwardly backed up a few steps. “Forgive me for not knowing what to say or do. I found out ten hours ago that I have a brother. Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy. I’m really happy. I’m just not a hugger.”   
Rey stood back and watched taking what she could only later describe as delight in noting the similarities and differences between the two. They were identical in height and although both broad, Ben was much wider and thicker. Ben’s hair was slightly longer, although she’d seen it shorter in the past. She liked it long. The noses and lips on the Solo boys were a perfect match, Luke’s face was more narrow and lacked the depth of maturity in Ben. Luke sported Han’s lopsided grin almost all of the time and Rey wondered how that would look on Ben. Just out of curiosity not some burning desire to see him smile, really smile...again.  
And then there was just something about Ben that pulled at her that she didn’t feel with Luke despite the resemblance. A connection. A bond. A desire.   
“Rey!” Luke’s beaming face turned to her and snapped her to the present and he exclaimed with enthusiasm. “You did it!” He rushed to her and wrapped his arms around her and spun her around. She awkwardly looped her arms around his neck. The display of affection was not usual and when her feet touched back to the landing pad below she stepped back, her eyes finding Ben who was staring intently. His brow furrowed and his lips drew into a thin line.  
Luke turned back to his brother, his large hands waving and keeping pace with his babbling. “You probably want to take a shower and get settled. I’ll show you your quarters. After that we can have lunch. I have form training right now so I have to hurry but I have time to show you your room. They are pretty good sized. Yours isn’t near mine since I’m with students and you're with the staff. Maybe you could join in? I mean in forms training. Or my other training this afternoon. What exactly do you want to take part in? I was hoping you would show me everything.”   
Ben nodded along and began following Luke but not without a glance back to Rey as if to say “What did you get me into?”   
Rey smirked and a soft chuckle escaped before she realized and in turn she was rewarded with just a hint of an upturn to one of the corners of Ben’s mouth as the two brothers disappeared into the Jedi Temple.   
After showering in her attached ‘fresher, and changing into a new tunic and leggings, Rey sat on the edge of her bed and sighed. The past 24 hours felt like a year or five minutes depending on the moment. Strange to have him back. She thought about it so much yet now that it was happening she didn’t have an inkling on what to do.   
“Lunch.” She said aloud and opened the door of her quarters. She jumped back. Startled. Ben stood before her equally surprised.  
“I...ah...sorry. I didn’t know you were there.” She stammered nervously.  
He wore the now common impassive mask on his face although his lips twitched slightly. “I guess I’m right across the hall from you.” He shrugged and started down the hall. Rey let him go. The urge to catch up to him and make conversation was difficult to ignore, however she did.   
She ate lunch outside with Rose. Her eyes flickered often to Ben who sat a few tables away with Luke and the additional four older teens that attended the Temple. Three other boys and the solitary girl, Ari. Ben ate and listened and nodded. Rey thought this must have been a similar site to when he was their age, sharing a meal with other students while studying to be a Jedi. A hundred questions filled her mind about him. Was he a full fledged Jedi Knight? How long before he turned? Where did he study to become a Knight’s of Ren? Was the training similar?   
“Hello?” Rose teased waving a hand up and down in front of Rey’s glassy unblinking eyes.  
“Oh sorry. I… just can’t focus.” Rey took a bit of her salad.  
“I’m sure. I can’t believe you found him and convinced him to come back. It’s a lot to take in.”   
Rey returned her attention to her friend, noting inwardly how Rose was always so understanding. She will make a great mom and Finn will make a great dad. “Listen, don’t think I know how much Finn hates him. I get it. He was… is Kylo Ren.”  
Rose nodded. “But these kids have no reason to hate him so they can accept him as Ben Solo. Yes there are those that he tortured and those that lost people because of his war. But that’s in the past, Rey. I know that.”   
Rey knew that Rose’s husband Finn had gone off to meet Poe on a mission to find information about a possible rising Sith Lord on an outer rim planet. It was a rumor but had credible intel. She knew her friends weren’t quite ready to forgive Ben as she had and she was happy they took a leave.   
Rey was also happy that Rose wanted to understand her. “I forgave him for what he did to me and to Finn and Poe and even Han. It wasn’t really a choice. It just happened when I felt him turn. I felt his regret and his anger and sadness and it was second nature I guess through the Force. And then after he saved my life I wasn’t angry any more. And truth be told I never hated him. I couldn't, no matter how much I knew I should.” Rey’s breath hitched, she expelled a lot of emotion that she typically kept locked up. She wasn’t sure who she surprised more, herself or Rose.  
“I know, Rey.” Rose took hold or her hand and squeezed. “I wouldn’t have understood before I met Finn but now I do.”  
Rey’s eyes brimmed with tears and it was only her fight to keep them from spilling that stopped her from asking her friend what she meant. Why was she comparing her relationship with Ben to hers and her husband’s? What exactly did she think she felt for Ben? She looked over at him again expecting to find him nodding and eating as he’d done since they all sat down. Instead his eyes were fixed on her. He didn’t look away, his stare intensified if that were possible. His chest heaved. His expression was difficult to read. He wasn’t angry or sad, but something else hid behind his eyes. Something dark and warm washed over her and she liked it. Rey could feel the heat of the Force emanating from him. He was lowering his walls. She was about to smile but he looked away, picking up his plate and glass and followed the other students back inside. Rey let out a long breath and stared at his broad back while the teens bobbed and weaved around him vying for attention as they exited the outdoor dining area.   
***  
After her class with the younglings, Rey was exhausted. Her back and shoulders ached from sitting in the Falcon’s cockpit all night and her mind needed to switch off or else she might just pass out while on her feet . She was desperate to return to her room and eat alone and crash.   
“Hey!” Luke’s tall frame jogged towards her when she rounded the garden to head into the staff quarters. His face always lit up when he saw her. A welcome remnant of the harmless affection he had for her when he first arrived. Rey was glad that now his attention had thankfully turned to Ari, who seemed to return the feelings. Although it had pained her heart to tell the now orphaned young man, Rey had explained to him after a few weeks that she was five years his senior and his teacher and although she was fond of him, there wasn’t anything romantic about her feelings. It was the truth, the longing she sometimes felt when she looked at his lips or his hands were always because he reminded her of his brother. Luke seemed to adjust well to the Temple and made friends easily which made their early awkwardness wash away easily. Almost like a rite of passage. Rey enjoyed watching him become a natural leader and he was well liked by peers and instructors.   
“I can’t thank you enough for bringing Ben here. It’s been incredible meeting him and I hope we can become closer like real brothers. He’s really quiet. And I know I’m not so I guess that’s a good thing? Right? I talk enough for the both of us.” Luke’s words were laced with compassion.  
“Yes it’s a good thing. Ben’s always been...brooding.” That was an understatement, however the details of his sensitive, depressed, omnipotent, vain, imposing past behavior seemed a little too much to share straight away. Kylo Ren had been... complicated.   
Luke’s handsome face was understanding. “Can you ask him? I mean ask him if he feels the same way? Does he want to be in my life? I guess he wouldn’t be here if he didn’t. But I know you know him so could you? I mean he saved your life, right? He must like you. I know he was Kylo Ren then but still you turned him. He turned for you. Was he mean? Scary?” Luke’s curiosity was sweet and full of empathy.  
Rey smiled gently. “I will ask him and yes he was very scary.”   
He reached out and grasped her wrist. A maturity coming over him that Rey had never seen before. His voice was soft. “When he talked about you today I could tell he really holds you in high regard.”  
Her heart swelled. “What did he say?” She asked without even thinking, sounding like a teenager asking about her crush.   
Luke smirked knowingly. “I asked him how strong he was with the Force, like what could he do. He answered by saying he wasn’t nearly as strong as you are and that you are… amazing.”  
Rey floated back to her room on a cloud. It wasn’t what he had said. It was that he was thinking about her.


End file.
